Is The Way You Think Costing You Joy?

Delight. Gaiety. Bliss. Rejoice.

These are all words Merriam Webster uses to define joy.

And, I can honestly say I felt all these at some point during my trip of a lifetime.

But guess what? It’s a trip that might not have happened.

2023 was a weird year for a number of entrepreneurs and business owners I know, as well as few I follow on social media.

Although the weirdness showed up in a variety of ways, it manifested itself in a singular fashion for us all. It showed up in folks’ bottom line.

Sales were down; revenue was down; profits were down or non-existent.

My business wasn’t immune from this same, dare I call it, trend. And while my total revenue wasn’t “too” bad relative to 2022, Q3 2023 sucked!

Like, really, really sucked!!

Compared to the same quarter in 2022, my revenue dipped almost 50%.

So, I could have rationalized not signing up for the Ghana trip. Especially since I didn’t know how the rest of the year would pan out.

And had I focused just on what was in front of me (low sales and less predictable cashflow), not committing to the trip would have seemed like the financially prudent choice to make.

However, I chose not to succumb to binary thinking in the form of holding onto what I have vs. spending it.

The Either/Or Dilemma

You and I bump up against either/or thinking on a daily basis.

It shows up in our behavior and thought patterns.

Heck, sometimes it can be so subtle, you are not even consciously aware that you’re doing it. Because, it happens so “naturally.”

But, either/or thinking can significantly impact a lot of areas of life and business. Reducing complex circumstances and choices to simplistic, black-and-white choices.

And when it comes to money, binary thinking can profoundly impact how you engage with your money and the emotions it triggers. Thus, affecting the results you experience as a result of.

For example…

Saving vs. Spending: A common thought is to view saving and spending as mutually exclusive.

However, doing so can lead to extreme behaviors, such as excessive frugality that stifles enjoyment or reckless spending that jeopardizes financial security.

(Note: One might say I didn’t make the prudent choice when I put down the deposit for the trip. But, I also know I wasn’t being reckless when I did it.)

I took an informed and calculated risk.

What choice has you teetering between saving and spending? Instead of either/or, how might you do a little bit of both?

Needs vs. Wants: My trip fell squarely in the realm of this is something I want to do.

But it is also something that has been on my bucket list for years! And doing it with the Metropolitan Black Bar Association was one of those, “When will I get the chance to have this experience in this way…again?,” moments. So, the timing felt kismet.

Maybe you’re reading this and you’re struggling with giving yourself permission to want what you want.

You do know that not every expenditure needs to be a “need” in order for it to be justified, right? #justsaying

Luxury vs. Practical: To me, this takes the notion of “needs vs. wants” to another level, but based entirely on the price.

When do you opt for the less expensive option because you believe it’ll “save” you money in the short term? But, you do so without realizing you’ve overlooked how spending more now might actually save you money in the long run. #pennywisepoundfoolish

What’s your litmus test for evaluating when the price of something is the only factor driving whether you give yourself permission to buy it? And, how often do you choose the cheaper option?

If you discover you choose the cheaper option frequently, do you know why? (Based on how I see this showing up with clients, I’m going to venture a guess and say it’s connected to feelings of “deserving.”)

More Joy, Please

There is a relationship between uncertainty and either/or thinking.

And right now, uncertainty feels like it is at an all-time high. Which means you (and I) need to be extra vigilant and on guard for noticing when binary thinking is present, and how it might be getting in the way of what you want.

How it might be getting in the way of your joy.

So, pay attention to…

When you’ve limited your perspective and/or the options you see as available to you. In between “either/or” or “yes/no” are a myriad of nuanced possibilities. Don’t miss out on exploring them!

Who and what is causing you unnecessary stress and anxiety. Believing your only options are the binary ones can lead to unnecessary pressure and fear.

When you’re feeling stifled. When you’re feeling stuck, uncreative, or just plain blah for extended periods of time, it’s hard to see beyond what’s immediately in front of you. And when you’re unable to do that, it’s hard to look for and enjoy those fulfilling and joyful encounters and moments. Especially when they are fleeting.

When you’re being impatient and snippy with your people. When you’re stressed, anxious, and fearful, either/or thinking can become a “protective” way of engaging with the world around you. But, that rigidity can make you less understanding, less willing to compromise, and less able to show empathy. In other words, you’re not bringing joy to those around you.

This is Why

Managing the intersection of money, business, and life is a complex endeavor.

Wanting quick solutions and clear-cut answers to pressing questions and challenges certainly sounds nice. And easy. But those come at a significant cost to you.

When you move beyond either/or thinking, more possibilities emerge – possibilities that open the door to a richer, more joyful life.

In August of 2023, had I focused solely on my bank account and pipeline and let that drive my choice of whether to go or not to Ghana, it might not have happened. And then I wouldn’t have had the amazing, joyful experience I did.

Look…