August 4 is just a date on the calendar for some people.
For me, it’s the date where my life and identity changed forever.
It is the day my mother died. And this year marks the ten year anniversary of her death.
On one hand, ten years feels like a long time ago.
On the other hand, I’m having that, “It doesn’t feel like a decade has passed” feeling.
Maybe I feel this way because death and grief have changed my perception of time, in general.
Or, perhaps it’s because I’m getting older and time seems to be moving faster due to the psychological concept of “time compression.”
As a child, do you remember how Summers seemed endless?
Yet, as an adult, those very same months fly by, consumed by the blur of your routine and responsibilities. And now you find yourself saying things like,”I can’t believe it’s August already!” (Or maybe that’s just me…LOL!)
This shift in perception about how you and I experience these same months reminds us of an important fact about time.
It is not just a measure of hours and minutes.
Time is fluid.
Within that fluidity, it can stretch or contract based on our experiences, emotions, and mental state of being. Making the perception of time highly subjective.
Over the course of these last ten years, my grief of my mother’s death has evolved. Initially, as I navigated the heavy fog of sorrow, it had me in an acute grip where it felt like time slowed down.
Now, as the weight of my grief is much lighter (on most days), time seems to have sped up.
When I think about the last ten years, I am reminded of this:
The choices you make and the way you behave when you feel like you have a lot of time are very different from those when you don’t.
Particularly when it comes to how you manage your money, business, and life.
“I’ll Get to It”
So why am I using the tenth anniversary of my mother’s death to frame a conversation with you about the perception of time?
It is to invite you to reflect on how you relate to it.
Since doing so can offer deep insights into your relationship with time.
Because while you and I know that time isn’t unlimited, this often isn’t mirrored in our choices and behavior.
In fact, right now, I bet there is a decision you need to make or an action you need to take, but you’ve continuously said, “I’ll get to it…”
You’re acting as if you have all the time in the world. Despite the reality that time is limited. Am I right?
Look, I am in the same boat. For example, decluttering my desk and updating my website copy has been rolling over to the next week on my to-do list…for months now.
So, no shade, shame, or judgment from me.
But isn’t this tendency of ours – to hold a distorted perception of time – a bit odd? After all, presumably what’s on the other side of, “I’ll get to it,” is something you (and I) want or need. Whether that want or need is functional, social, or emotional.
Don’t Let Time Do This
Time has a way of slipping through our fingers, unnoticed until we pause to reflect on it.
That’s why I hope you will consider a few things as it relates to that thing you keep saying, “I’ll get to it:”
Why are you procrastinating?
What is the real reason you haven’t just done “it” already?!
Is your delay connected to being reminded that you underestimated how much time is required? And has this awareness paralyzed you, making you unable to move forward?
What haven’t you prioritized?
Is your delay highlighting that you have a conflict when it comes to the goals you’ve prioritized?
You want to have it all right now. But you’re discovering you cannot under your current circumstances. So, again, you’re paralyzed.
What fears are holding you back?
Are you afraid that if you follow-thru on that thing, you actually won’t experience the outcome you want?
Maybe you are worried about failing. Or, perhaps you are worried about succeeding and wonder if you’re fully prepared for what that success might bring.
How are you managing your energy?
On the surface, it may seem an odd connection to make: But perhaps the reason you keep punting that thing that has you saying, “I’ll get to it,” to some point in the future is because you are tired!
Whatever choice you need to make or action you need to take requires energy – sometimes that shows up as mental, emotional, physical, or even financial energy. Or, a concatenation of all of these.
What do you need to do to fill your energy cup? Are you giving yourself enough time to rest and recover so you can do this?
Unfortunately, you and I frequently underestimate the role of energy and self-care when it comes to how we perceive, evaluate, and manage time.
The ‘Right Time” Is…
Therefore, today, please take a moment to reflect on what you have been putting off, waiting for the ‘right’ time.
And start now.
Because while time is fluid, your opportunities within it are not.
While you’re at it, take a moment to really remember how your choices today shape your future.
May this reflection not only remind you of the fleeting nature of time, but to also live more intentionally.
May it remind you that each day gives you a chance to make the most of the time you have. (You don’t need the loss of a loved one to spark this reflection.)
Time is definitely real – the past; the present; and the future.
The illusion of whether or not you experience time as moving slowly or quickly, though, is another thing.
