I know the title is a pretty absurd invitation, isn’t it?!
Because no one wants to be financially stressed – at least not in an unhealthy way.
But the stats don’t lie.
According to the 2023 PwC Employee Financial Wellness Survey, 47% of employees are financially stressed and 56% are so distracted [by this stress] it affects their focus.
According to the newly released study by Paradigm for Parity, 48% of the Black women they surveyed reported feeling stressed because they are living paycheck to paycheck. And, 63% of them felt stressed about meeting their cost of living and household bills.
So, what gives?
As I’ve shared…
I don’t believe anyone wakes up in the morning and says, “I am going to make a choice today that will cause me stress in the future.”
The Causes Are…
And yet, so many individuals, families, and businesses are buried under the weight of stress due to usual as well as unexpected causes.
The more well-known culprits are:
- Debt
- Living expenses
- Income instability
- Unexpected expenses, and
- Worries about the future
Whereas, the more unusual causes look like:
Lifestyle (Business) Inflation
This is when your expenses rise as your income rises. As a result, you don’t get a chance to benefit from your increased earnings; you don’t get to experience the relief from having more than you need.
Cultural & Social Expectations
This may be because you are not only financially responsible for your immediate household, but also for extended family members. Or, it might show up as pressure to spend your money in a particular way or to live a certain lifestyle.
Financial Guilt
The common guilt is overspending. But, this can also show up as what I call toxic frugality.
Perhaps you feel guilty for spending on yourself, even for necessary things. Or, on the flip side, maybe you feel guilty because of what you cannot spend, e.g., you’re frustrated because you don’t have the ability to do what you want or to help out family members and friends as much as you’d like.
Information Overload
Courtesy of your phone, you can manage every aspect of your financial life in the palm of your hand. However, this instant access to information about where you stand financially – banking, credit, investment – can lead to overwhelm and anxiety if this access is not handled well. Especially when you prioritize information over insight.
And, as my fellow entrepreneurs and business owners know, the relationship between business success and success with your personal finances can be a MAJOR source of stress.
Overlooked, Yet Important
Unlike some of my peers, I don’t subscribe to the idea that “we” don’t talk about money.
I actually think we talk about money all the time; we just aren’t having the right conversations.
And yes, it is true we barely give the usual and unexpected causes of financial stress (like the examples I’ve noted) sufficient air time.
Yet, here’s what is also true: There are several things that add to the weight of financial stress that often get overlooked.
But that doesn’t make the need to identify and discuss them any less important.
Here are several things I think often get overlooked in the discussion about stress – especially if it is burdensome:
(1) It doesn’t happen overnight.
Financial stress builds up gradually…choice by choice. It is when it reaches its peak that you feel the pressure and are able to recognize and name it what it is: “stress.”
I don’t say this to blame you for the stress you are experiencing.
Rather, it is to highlight that the clues were there all along. Unfortunately, you tend to only recognize it upon reflection.
(2) You don’t notice it.
Then, there’s the financial stress you don’t notice at all.
Because while you’re depleting your savings account, selling off your investment portfolio, and increasing your credit card balances, you’re doing it for a good reason.
In your mind you’re doing the “right” things, as they are done in service to an overarching goal.
By the way, in case you don’t know my story, I just described myself. This is what led my CPA, at the time, to ask me in 2003, “When are you going to stop mortgaging your life?”
I was so focused on doing all I could to have a successful, profitable business that didn’t leave me broke, I wasn’t paying attention to what I was doing that led to the opposite result.
In hindsight, I can see clearly that I was under financial stress…I just didn’t notice it then!
(3) You haven’t identified the conflict.
The other thing that gets overlooked is how financial stress – in your life or business – is the result of a conflict.
You’ve probably heard me say that, very broadly, there are four (4) things you can do with your money – earn, save, invest, and spend it. How clear are you about which area/s are in conflict with one another?
(4) You’re focused on your short-term pain.
Once the financial stress reaches the point where it has really grabbed your attention, there’s a tendency to want it to go away – stat!
Understandably, all your time, energy, and effort is focused on relieving the pain you’re currently feeling. However, sometimes this is done at the exclusion of making sure to also address the underlying root cause of the stress.
It’s So, So Personal
I believe everyone (including you!) is operating with some degree of financial stress in their life (and business). However, the degree is what separates normal, healthy stress from chronic, unhealthy stress.
And, I am not so confident it is even possible, for any of us, to completely eradicate financial stress.
Tackling it involves being honest with yourself about the usual and unexpected causes, along with those that get overlooked.
This is universal.
What is unique is what aspect of your life (and business) it affects.
More than likely, what stresses you today, as well as the causes of it, won’t be the same in the future. Especially when you factor in the role of the unexpected and uncertainty, along with how your circumstances evolve over time.
Add on the reality that each person’s capacity to carry the weight of their financial stress varies due, in part, to cultural, societal, and psychological differences.
All of this is why…
Generic “how-to’s” for managing financial stress tend to be insufficient.
And why what is more effective is a mix of practical strategies and holistic approaches – that work for you.
So, yes, how each person tackles the financial stress with which they are contending varies. What ought to be universal, though, (at least in my opinion) is this:
Don’t let the shame of stress keep you from seeking support and getting help.
And definitely don’t let shame zap you of feeling hopeful that you’ll eventually find yourself on the other side.
